|Photograph entitled "Sailing to Freedom". (c) 2008 Bettina Makley|
I had been thinking about years past...resolutions I fought with and didn't keep. A few years ago, I decided to keep it simple and my resolution was to "love more, complain less" which I thought was a brilliant cop-out and something I could easily keep...The Universe, however, in its infinite sense of humor, decided to test that, right away, and as I was watching the only channel we could get in Wheeling WV, with no cable, I realized they did not switch to a New Years Eve countdown! I MISSED the COUNTDOWN to 2008!!!! I can't begin to tell you how emotional I was about that. I don't think, in my whole life, that had ever happened. I wanted to call that d*** station and give it to them, good!!! The Universe...laughing... (yes...I heard it) grabbed me by my brightly colored reins and jerked me back, playfully, of course. For the next three years I worked on that same resolution...with some success, here and there, but that simple resolution was a lot harder to keep than I expected.
It will always be with me.
This year, as many of my on-line friends were choosing single words for the year, I started tossing words around in my head. Nothing jumped out at me, until I was talking with my friend, Liz in Honduras. She was in the process of choosing hers, as well. She inspired me, in only a few seconds, to take my word a little more seriously. When I really opened my "eyes" my word appeared. I wasn't sure I liked it, at first. It isn't really snappy like "Joy" or "Peace" or "Creativity" or "Growth". A lot of really cool words popped in and out of my head...but as I watched my word float around in my brain and saw my life situations bouncing off it in so many ways, I knew it was the right one. My word for 2012 is....drum roll please.....UNBURDEN.
Unburden is the perfect word for me, at this time in my life. Over the Christmas holidays, I had to make a trip to Wheeling, WV, to pick up the remainder of my things. My daughter sold her beautiful building there, where I was living, something that was very difficult, but necessary. It had become a burden on her and in order to move on with her abundant life, she had to let it go. My things had to be dealt with..quickly. My plans for Christmas were made long ago and were very different, but I surrendered to the Universe and was rewarded with a lovely celebration with my new grandson, which I thought I was going to miss. While in Wheeling, I dealt with all my "stuff", going through boxes and sending piles of stuff to the Goodwill. I got a nasty cold, which left me weak and uncomfortable. Michael arrived with the truck on the 26th and we spent the next two days clearing out stuff. I got the load down so far, that I only needed a 5'x10' storage space, and there is room to spare, for some things I have here. Now that we are home and healing, it is really beginning to sink in what a burden has been lifted.
I feel lighter...better...clearer. I have a lot of burdens yet to go, as I still have a storage space in Florida, but now, clearing all that out seems more possible than it ever has and as I release more and more "stuff", I find I am uncovering my Soul....opening my heart...and believing in myself in unexpected ways.
Unburdening will also apply to emotional burdens, attachments and expectations of myself and of others. I am redesigning my life to allow for more peace, love and joy (we knew those words would come in, didn't we?).
As I write all of this, I realize that the word "FREEDOM" describes the real goal for my life...the essence of my desires. This year will be about letting go...of guilt...of fear...of imagined obligations. It will also be about getting more monkeys off my back, accomplishing tasks...and NOT taking on ANY new ones that don't serve my purpose in creating a more balanced, centered and manageable reality.
"Unburden" describes the "act" of making myself free. Perfect.
Happy New Year!
(c) 2012 Bettina Makley